The All-or-Nothing Mindset: How ADHD Fuels Restriction and Overeating – and How to Break Free
If you’ve ever found yourself in the cycle of trying to eat “perfectly” and then going off-track and bingeing, you’re not alone. The all-or-nothing mindset is a common trap, especially for women managing ADHD. The ups and downs of impulsive eating, combined with the pressures of feeling like you have to do everything just right, can leave you feeling frustrated, guilty, and like you're stuck in a never-ending loop of restriction and overeating.
Let’s break down why this happens and, more importantly, how to shift your mindset so you can build a more sustainable and compassionate approach to eating—one that works with your ADHD, rather than against it.
ADHD and the All-or-Nothing Trap
If you have ADHD, you’re probably familiar with how easily your thoughts and actions can swing from one extreme to the other. This is especially true when it comes to food. The ADHD brain tends to crave instant gratification, which often leads to impulsivity. But when we try to diet or stick to rigid food rules, it can create an “on-track/off-track” mentality. If you eat something “off-limits,” your brain may perceive it as a complete failure, prompting a binge or an emotional eating session, only to decide the next day that you're starting over with a “perfect” diet.
This cycle is exhausting and disheartening. You might feel like you’re doing well for a few days, then slip up, and suddenly it feels like everything has fallen apart. The constant shifting between restriction and overeating can make it seem impossible to maintain any consistency, let alone long-term healthy habits.
Why This Happens
ADHD’s influence on your eating habits goes beyond just impulsivity. It can also cause difficulties in managing emotions, staying focused, and sticking to a plan. These factors contribute to the “all-or-nothing” thinking that many people with ADHD experience. The brain’s difficulty with impulse control can cause you to act on cravings or emotions without thinking it through, while the emotional highs and lows that come with these behaviours can reinforce feelings of failure or frustration when things don’t go as planned.
The truth is, this cycle isn't the result of a lack of willpower. It’s the result of the ADHD brain's response to restrictive eating patterns, intense emotional regulation struggles, and the craving for instant rewards. The solution is not about trying to be perfect; it’s about finding a new, more flexible approach to eating that works with your ADHD symptoms, not against them.
Moving from Perfection to Progress
The key to breaking the all-or-nothing cycle is to shift your focus from perfection to progress. It’s about finding balance and embracing flexibility instead of expecting everything to be “right” all the time. And guess what? It’s okay if things get a little messy sometimes—that’s part of being human.
One of the most effective ways to do this is to adopt the mindset that small steps matter more than big leaps. It’s not about achieving flawless meals or sticking to rigid meal plans every day. It’s about consistently making choices that support your health, even if they’re not always perfect. Think of it as progress over perfection—each day, each choice, is an opportunity to make a step forward, even if it’s a small one.
The Stumbling Path
Imagine this: You’re walking down a winding path in the countryside. Some parts of the path are smooth and easy to navigate, while others are a bit rocky and uneven. There are moments when you trip or slip, but rather than turning back and abandoning the journey, you dust yourself off, adjust your pace, and keep moving forward.
This is very much like your relationship with food. You don’t need to walk a straight, perfect line. Sometimes you’ll trip and stumble. Sometimes you’ll take a few steps back. But what matters is that you keep going. The path is full of twists and turns, and perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. The goal is to keep moving, to learn from each step, and to embrace the journey, even when it gets a little messy.
Embracing Flexibility
Flexibility in eating is a game-changer for anyone with ADHD. Rather than rigidly following food rules or feeling guilty about eating something “off-plan,” it’s important to accept that flexibility allows you to honour your body’s needs in real-time. This doesn’t mean abandoning healthy habits; it simply means that if you have a piece of chocolate or miss a meal prep session, it’s not the end of the world.
Instead of thinking, “I’ve blown it, so I might as well go all in,” shift your thinking to, “Okay, that happened. What’s the next best choice I can make?” It’s about regaining control without the pressure of perfection. Flexibility helps you to bounce back, rather than stay stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage.
Practical Steps for Breaking the All-or-Nothing Mindset
Set Realistic Goals
Start with achievable, flexible goals that align with your lifestyle. Instead of committing to “no junk food” or “eating perfectly,” aim for progress, such as “eating more vegetables this week” or “taking time for a healthy breakfast every morning.”Celebrate Small Wins
Focus on the positives. Did you make a balanced lunch or drink enough water today? Celebrate that! Small wins add up over time and help you to build momentum.Learn from Setbacks
When you do slip up, don’t let it derail your progress. Reflect on what happened—was it a moment of stress, impulsivity, or emotional eating? Use this knowledge to adjust your plan for next time, rather than beating yourself up.Practice Mindful Eating
Mindfulness helps you tune into your body’s hunger and fullness signals, and reduces impulsive eating. Slow down, enjoy your food, and listen to your body’s needs. If you eat something indulgent, savour it, and move on without guilt.Create a Supportive Environment
Surround yourself with positive reinforcement—whether it’s a supportive friend, a coach, or a community. Accountability and encouragement can help you stay on track, without the pressure to be perfect.
Final Thoughts
The all-or-nothing mindset can be a real barrier when it comes to making lasting changes in your eating habits, especially when ADHD is involved. But it’s important to remember that eating doesn’t need to be perfect. What matters is consistency—making small, sustainable choices that serve your health and wellbeing, even when things feel a little messy.
Remember, the path to a healthier relationship with food isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress, patience, and embracing flexibility. So next time you stumble, don’t give up—dust yourself off, and take another step forward. You’re not walking this path alone, and each step, no matter how small, brings you closer to the balanced and positive relationship with food that you deserve.
